Still Here

Still doing hard things.

In the last three months, it feels fair to say I have done a few hard things. And yes, I know “hard” is subjective. What feels heavy to one person might feel ordinary to another. Still, from where I am standing, I crossed off things from a list I genuinely thought was ridiculous to even write at the start of the year. Big things. Stretchy things. Things that required courage I was not sure I had.

And while I did do some of those hard things, I still believe one of the hardest things I did in 2025 was survive.

I imagine there are two kinds of people reading this. The ones nodding like, “Guyyyy, I get you. I really do.” And the others squinting slightly, asking, “Just survive?” Wherever you land, I think I owe you a little context.

This year, much like last year, carried two very distinct feelings that often showed up at the same time. Some days, I felt like Mario, constantly jumping over obstacles, looping the same path, running in circles and somehow still moving forward. Other days, I felt like a random NPC in a very active Call of Duty game, everyone else fully in the action while I stayed in the background, trying not to become collateral damage. On some days, it was one or the other. On others, I experienced the strange irony of feeling both at once.

But through it all, I did the quiet, unglamorous work of staying alive. Of staying sane. Of continuing to trust God. It was hard, yes. But I would be lying if I said I did it by myself.

I am a big girl, truly. I can do hard things and I have done hard things. But I was never alone. I am not self-made. I did not fix everything on my own. I am not independent in the way the world likes to applaud. In fact, I am deeply dependent. Joyfully dependent.

I am fully dependent on the One who keeps reminding me that I am His masterpiece, created for the very hard things He prepared long before I arrived here. I am dependent on the One who equips me for storms and steadies my feet for every unfamiliar road.

And today, having completed the last hard thing I set out to do this year, I am simply grateful. Grateful that God is with me. Behind me. Before me. Over me. And within me.

That alone makes surviving feel like a victory worth celebrating.

Daalu Chineke!